What would I bring to the table were I able to be in your scene?
Well, whatever you'd want from me
Was not expecting you accepting but exceptionally you agreed
Oh, what a life I'll get to lead

I chose a brasserie that flattered me as somewhere nice that we could feast
As my anxiety decreased
But when it ended you suspended my contentment with the words, "Garçon,
C'etait pas mal, j'veux l'addition"

Maintenant (click click)

When you meet up, I'll sit you down and promise you I'll be there when you call
And as these evenings wear on, I'm sometimes there but sometimes not at all
And if you leave without telling me, although I really shouldn't do this, who's to say
That I won't be here some time later
With what you wanted 'cause I'm the waiter

You call out numbers and I listen with intent for you to get to mine
You say 1... 2, 3... 4, 5... 6, 7, 9
Plans are made about a date then cancellations clearly come my way
Then you reminisce about those days

Now, I'm feeling something like a pumpkin that's outside a house on Halloween
A carved-on smile but fire within
I guess that's what I get for rushing in where many others feared to tread
Oh, what a life to have to lead
And to have led

Oh dear,
'Cause I'm here
But I could have been there instead
(Click click)

When you meet up, I'll sit you down and promise you I'll be there when you call
And as these evenings wear on, I'm sometimes there but sometimes not at all
And if you leave without telling me, although I really shouldn't do this, who's to say
That I won't be here some time later
With what you wanted 'cause I'm the waiter

I tried to be patient but I didn't like the way I was treated
I tried to make you double down but I worried that it might be repeated
There's still some way to go
But where do waiters go
When it's time to leave the restaurant?
The more I see the less I want to be
The waiter

Now you meet up, I sit you down and promise you I'll be there if you shout
But I guess promises don't mean that much to you so I'm heading out
Then I'll catch the disrespect and the disconnect when you find me just to say
"I really thought that you could cater
To all I wanted cause you're the waiter"